Not Knowing

It’s okay not to know things. It’s okay not to have things figured out.

These aren’t things we hear often but I believe they’re true. Living in this western civilization we’re constantly told that we have to have things figured out. We need to know what we want to be when we grow up, we need to know where we want to live, what to study etc. It never ends.
But sometimes you just don’t know. Out society should be more accepting and appreciative of the moments of figuring things out. However long they take.

That’s not to say that we shouldn’t try to figure things out. We definitely should. But we shouldn’t hate ourselves for being busy figuring things out when other people may be much farther along. We should definitely strive to learn more, to figure things out and to grow. It’s just important that we don’t strive for perfection. Perfection is not natural and even though it may seem that some people have the perfect life, no one really does. A perfect life doesn’t exist; everyone deals with struggles, doubts and challenges. And these all come together in moments of not knowing what to do next.

“A perfect life doesn’t exist; everyone deals with struggles, doubts and challenges. And these all come together in moments of not knowing what to do next.”

I constantly experience myself not knowing things. I didn’t know what I wanted to do for my master’s degree (graduate degree) for two years. I even had an extra year in between and I still didn’t know. I finally figured it out. But it took a lot of thought, consideration and, yes, time. Time that we supposedly don’t have. But we do. We can make time for the things that matter.
Another example; for years, during my depression, I felt like I didn’t know anything. I didn’t know who I was or should be, where I should go, what “clique” I belonged to, hell… I didn’t even know why I was feeling what I was feeling. And there are times that I still don’t know. But it’s okay.

It is in these moments that we have to try to rely on our intuition, rather than our intellect. Western society prioritizes decisions based on reason but sometimes it’s just a feeling. You could be with someone who checks every box you ever created for a significant other, but if the inexplicable feeling, that rush, those butterflies, if they aren’t there it still won’t work out. We should trust our feelings a bit more. A decision that seems right logically but feels wrong personally can be a very bad decision. Even if people around you don’t see it that way.

In these moments of not-knowing we have to be aware of the fact that we’re at a crossroads. We should consider all the options before us, weight them in terms of practicality, feeling, passion and worth. Even if it takes a little longer because we don’t understand what we think about something or how we feel about a certain option. Sometimes we need more time to listen.

“Really, every time you feel like you don’t know what to do the universe is giving you the room to make a decision to change and grow.”

We have to be grateful for these moments that make us feel lost. These moments of not-knowing make us learn and grow. The not-knowing can suck but it can also be very uplifting. Instead of looking at it like ‘I’m the only one who has no idea what I’m doing, I’m going to fail at life’ we should consider these moments as times of infinite possibilities. The reality is that a lot of people around you probably also don’t have a clue what they’re doing. And the chances of you failing in life because of one decision are really quite small.

If you realize you set off on the wrong path you can always turn around and choose a different one. You are only limited by your own imagined road blocks. Really, every time you feel like you don’t know what to do the universe is giving you the room to make a decision to change and grow. In whatever small way. Even if you make the “wrong” decision, you still learned something. Maybe making that wrong decision is what you needed to do before you could make the right one. The important thing remains: you made a decision, you learned, you grew. Never stop.

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love, isabelle

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3 thoughts on “Not Knowing

  1. I love this! It’s very close to home for me but I couldn’t agree more with what you said. We just have to trust our feelings and make the decision to move forward whatever the outcome might be in the end.

    Liked by 1 person

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